Day 257: The one thing you’re most ashamed of.

I had potential and I squandered it. All through secondary school, I was one of the cleverest kids in the classroom and so I could coast and still get good grades. After that it was on to sixth form where I also chose to coast. What did I have to lose, after all? Nothing. The grades came easily, good enough to get where I wanted to go to university so what was the point in pushing for anything more?

Then I went to uni and it all seemed the same. I went to lectures where they taught the same thing as A-Levels and I thought to myself ‘This is easy.” I was right. So once more, I decided that I could coast.

Then second year rolled around. I assumed it would be much the same as first year, with everything falling neatly into place and minimal studying time to interrupt my fun. I was wrong.

I managed not to fail that year, but it did cause me trouble. All of a sudden I wasn’t the cleverest person in the room, I was the one begging for scraps at everybody else’s academic table. I was lost, confused and as such my work went downhill again in third year. The same third year that I had to repeat.

I managed to claw my way through my second attempt at third year. Somehow, I came out with a degree. But it wasn’t without realising that I wasn’t the best in the room and that I wasn’t alone.

I dug myself a deep hole over my time at university. I’m not saying that I regret going, as a lot of good things came from it, but I have certainly put myself onto the back foot for my life to come.

On the positive side, I’m getting out of the hole. I’m on my way out of it and the sky has never looked so expansive. The future is wide open and mine for the taking.

All of this is true. It has taken me quite some time to accept these things, but now I’m getting there. Only with the tireless help of my family and friends, but I’m getting there.

So if you’re struggling with anything, drop me an email. I’ll listen and I’ll respond as best I can. I make no promises and I don’t pretend to be a counsellor, but if you just want to get things off your chest I’ll listen. 

The Idiot in Tin Foil

One thought on “Day 257: The one thing you’re most ashamed of.

  1. Way to go! My son is going through a bit of this in high school, realizing that school does get harder. As a mom you want what’s best, so it’s a balancing act between support and letting your kid fail a bit (my guy is very stubborn when it comes to admitting that he could be wrong, not that I’m perfect either). I’m glad that things have turned around for you. Keep positive!

    Liked by 1 person

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