Christ, now I now what being hit by a bus feels like. I’m blinking and shaking my head, hoping I can clear this damn fog that’s building and let me think. I’m… Busy. I’m doing something important. Something that means I shoudn’t be lying on the cobbles of some random street.
Wait, who even am I? Crap… There must be clues. What am I wearing? Some weird red suit. The last thing I properly remember is… Animals. Big, like horses, but not horses. More like deer, really, I guess. Either way, it was super foggy and my way was lit by this ominous red glow but… Ergh, I’m damned if I can think of it.
Aha! I’ll check my wallet. That’ll tell me… Wait, it’s not in my back pocket. That’s where I’d keep my wallet, right? Surely. Perhaps the breast pocket of this stupid red suit… Nope, not there either.
It’s started to snow now, a fresh dusting to cover the already messy blanket on the ground. My choices are rather limited, I feel. Lie on the ground for a while and freeze to death, or get up without a clue who I am and try and work things out.
I don’t know if you’ve ever been in this situation, but the easy option always calls to you. “Stay on the ground.” It said. “It’ll be easier to just pass through and away…” I considered it, I’m not going to lie. But something, I don’t know what, made me get off the street. I grabbed the bicycle next to me, a fierce red number with 21 speeds, and pulled myself groggily to my feet. The very same feet encased in a pair of thick black rubber boots. Now I’d gotten to my feet, I could see it around me.
Debris. As if something had fallen from the sky and landed around me. I looked for survivors in the smouldering wreckage, looking almost serene and beautiful in the dim light of evening.
There were lights on in every house, brightly fighting back the cold night. I trudged down a street, looking in to see families everywhere with each other and their friends. Clearly, I’d stumbled into this at a wonderful time.
I leaned in close to the next window I passed, watching my breath fog the glass and make it hard to see through, but I found that I could see the shapes of men and women coming together beneath a strange green plant, poisonous white berries hanging from it in desperation. They laughed, they cried but they… Experienced.
I may not be able to remember, but I know that I have never truly experienced anything like this. It seems like a good place to be.
My name? I can’t remember it after the fall, but you can call me Nicky. It’s been a long time…
The Idiot in Tin Foil