Phil! Come over here and introduce yourself. No, they’re not going to hurt you. No, they’re not going to call you names. Phil, just… Dammit.
Sorry about that. I was trying to get Phil to introduce himself this time but looks like he’s still scared of you all. I don’t know what it is but he runs off, every time.
What do you mean you didn’t see him? He was literally right there, next to where you are. Before he ran away.
He’s always doing that. He stands there like a rabbit in the headlights the second I bring him up, then disappears. It’s insane. I wish I could do it. Be really useful when I talk to some people.
Anyway, had he stuck around, I could have finally introduced him. He looks a lot like me actually, six foot tall, dark hair. Only real difference is confidence. When people are around, he’s the kind of guy who shrinks into the shadows. I swear he does it literally sometimes. I’ll be talking to him, turn around to talk to someone approaching and BAM! he’s gone.
Anyway, I got distracted. So, before he disappeared, that was Phil. He’s pretty cool. Works somewhere up country, most of the time. Then he comes back and it’s as if he never went away.
He’s quick with a joke, our Phil. A good egg, as much as you can find them. God, I wish I was him.
The Idiot in Tin Foil