Day 228: What you really wanted to say to the customer representative when you called about your broken appliance.

“Pal, if you say the words ‘I understand your frustration’ one more time, I’m going to reach out to wealthy investors, find a backer who will fund an expedition to whatever godforsaken corner of the world you hail from, such that I can personally hunt you down and ram that phone so far up your jacksie that you’ll answer calls by hiccoughing. Now, unless the answer to my next question is “Yes, I’ve now sorted it”, I’d like to suggest that you wave frantically at your line manager and get them to take this call.

There was a long pause. I could hear the hubbub of the call centre on the other end of the line, all the same shouts and the same stock phrases that get trotted out every time you receive a cold call.

“Hello, Mr Woods?”

“Have you fixed my problem, Maninder?”

“No, but…”

“I believe I made the instructions quite clear.Unless you’ve fixed it, get your manager. Now.”

Another long pause, then a young man answered. He sounded like he’d started banking while still in his cot.

“Mr Woods, hi, how are you? My name’s Carmol Pushta. Now, I understand there’s an issue with your account, is that correct?”

“If by issue you mean money disappearing after I told you your product exploded, then yes, there’s a problem.”

“I understand your…”

Short one today. I have lots of ideas that are brewing, but this one is completely stand-alone. 

Any questions, give me a bell!

The Idiot in Tin Foil

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2 thoughts on “Day 228: What you really wanted to say to the customer representative when you called about your broken appliance.

  1. As a customer service representative, I relate to this in so many ways. “I understand your frustrations” is my professional version of “I feel your pain, but there’s nothing more I can do right now, so please stop yelling at me and let me hang up the phone.”

    Liked by 1 person

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