Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like you to meet Chester. He’s a Golden Labrador, weighs in at about 75 pounds if he’s stayed out of the food bag and I swore blind before I got him that I didn’t want him.
I told Sarah, my wife, that we were not getting a dog. We actually had a blazing row about it, I’m talking the whole nine yards. I told her that it was a stupid idea, we could barely afford to keep ourselves and the flat at the time, let alone a living breathing creature that would eat its bodyweight in food. What would we do while we were at work, I asked.
She told me she was planning on quitting her job and focusing on her art. I hit the roof. This was the first I’d heard about this plan and I thought it was ridiculous. Art? Art? Art was for those losers who smoked pot throughout college while we were doing proper work. Don’t get me wrong, I support her and I thought it was a great hobby. But to do it as a career?
I actually stormed out. I remember, it was absolutely pissing it down with rain that night. Dark and stormy to say the least, but definitely not as enjoyable as the cocktail. I must have walked for a mile before I realised how stupid I was being. I planned out my arguments, reasonably and sensibly. I thought about how I’d have to look for a better paid job in order to pay for us both until she made it.
I got back and she’d already poured me a glass of wine. She told me that all we had to do was go and look at the dogs. Then we talked, for hours. I knew she’d been unhappy at work for a while, but I didn’t realise quite how bad it was. She told me she hoped it would push me as well, seeing as I was wasted on an entry level position.
It was the most we’d talked in months and it felt so much better to get it off our chests.
We made an appointment to go to the dogs home on Saturday. I swore to myself that we’d not get a dog. We had a small spat about it on the way there.
We came to a compromise in the end.
We got Chester.
So, this is similar to a conversation I had earlier today, but I’m the one who desperately wants the dog. Unfortunately, with my job and my life how they are at the moment, there will be no adorable animals in my near future. But soon enough, mwahahahahaha.
The Idiot in Tin Foil