Day 121: What is your shrink really thinking when you tell him about your day, your life, your hopes, your fears?


Hey Doc. So, it’s been a long month.

Oh great, it’s David again. I swear he walked out of here last time swearing that he was cured, that everything was fine. Yeah, I’m in a great place, Doc. I’ll come back next month, just to tell you how great it all is. Hello David, how are you doing? Take a seat. Sofa or chair?

I’ll take the couch. I tell you Doc. I thought I was on top of the world last time…

You were. You’ve just decided to overreact to some meaningless insult. What’s happened?

Well, I was crossing the street and some dickhead nearly runs me over in his taxi? I mean, what even is that?

Unfortunate. If it had hit you, maybe I wouldn’t have to listen to your idiotic ramblings. How did that make you feel?

Angry, I guess. But also, calm.

Calm? This is a new one. He’s been angry, he’s been depressed, anxious. Everything else he could find in the dictionary of psychology. But calm? How do you mean, calm?

Like, calm. At peace. Must have been one of those near death experiences, ya know? I saw myself, about to get hit. I just kinda thought ‘Hey, if it’s my time, it’s my time.’

Certainly would have saved you four hundred pounds on this consultancy. I wonder what the Suicide Squad film is like? I really must get round to seeing it. Do you see this as a good thing? I’m not sure that I do. 

Well, I think so. I mean, surely it means that I’m coming to terms with my anger issues? If I felt that calm when I thought I was gonna die, then surely something’s going right? Though it did take me back to my depression.

God dammit David, you weren’t depressed. You’re wasting my time. You felt the depression returning? The answer’s no, because you weren’t depressed.

Well, not really. Just a faint flicker before the calm returned.

I really hate you David. Please take the hint now. So, if the calm returned, would you say that your therapy has helped? The answer is yes. The answer is yes. Please, please, please say yes. 

Well, yeah. It’s been good, coming to you. Let’s me get stuff off my chest. I feel I can tell you about anything. All the dark places.

David. You have no dark places. Just get out! Take the hint! If you leave early, me and Caroline can get a quickie in before Thomas arrives at three. David. We talked about this. Revisiting the dark places isn’t good for you.

Well, it’s all well and good you saying that Doc. But they’re there.

Goddammit. David. You need to take some time. Deal with the experience. Come back tomorrow, when you’ve had time to calm down. Remember the breathing exercises I taught you. Also known as try doing it once in a while. 

Yeah, I suppose you’re right. I’ll see you tomorrow Doc.

Goodbye David.

Maybe this time the fucking taxi driver will get it right. 

The Idiot in Tin Foil


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