Day 52: A sneeze.

Feel the pressure in your sinuses. You know the feeling. Welcome to the moments before a sneeze. Now it falls to you to make a number of important decisions and observations.

Is it going to be loud or quiet? If it is going to be loud, do you emphasise the noise or try to play it off? If it’s quiet, again, do you emphasise the noise or play it off? You don’t want to be considered girly and a polite sneeze like a coughing weasel is hardly going to make a good statement for you.

Is there going to be mucus? If so, you probably want a tissue. But, do you have time? Is the sneeze going to explode from your nostrils as a bullet from a gun or do you have the seconds it will take for you to nip through and grab a tissue, hankie, bit of bog roll, if you’re feeling particularly disgusting a sleeve…

There is so much to consider with a sneeze. One can never be too careful.

The Idiot in Tin Foil


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