One person, preferably hormonally charged in some way. Must have attraction to the other participant.
One other person, again with some hormonal charging but must be from a different social group to the male.Attraction to other participant is unnecessary in this case.
At least two parents. The allocation of parents tends to be unnecessary, so feel free to pick from across both male and female participants. They also do not have to be blood relatives. Step-parents work just as well, in some cases better, so feel free to try a variety. In a pinch, any parental figure will do.
One large social event. Any kind of event will do, but for best results must include both members of family and peer groups. Birthday parties, proms with a parental chaperone, family weddings, etc.
Alcohol, while not a necessity, can be a useful catalyst for expediting the process.
Bad advice. When making this recipe, this is the absolute.must have. Most of the other ingredients are interchangeable, but without this… For all I know, your disaster will end with everything going right!
Finally, a soupcon of subplot. Often involving friends of the main participants.
Preheat the room. Make sure that alcohol, if being used, is flowing relatively freely. I personally suggest a punch bowl or an open bar, but explore your options! Take some liberties here and see where you end up.
Place the first participant in the room to marinate. Companions can be used here, keeping the participant tender and fresh, but ensure that the bad advice is kept away from them here! This is far too early and could end up ruining the recipe.
Allow the second participant to enter. Make sure that there is a cluster of friends around one of them in order to make sure that there is no contact before the advice has been added.
Place parental figures at equal spacings throughout, watchful eyes playing over the entirety.
Allow an initial contact between participants. This gets the system churning and tends to excite one or both of them, allowing the full flavour to develop.
Move parentals closer to the pair.
At this point, we introduce some bad advice into the mix. This can be introduced through a companion, preferably a subplot companion, or a parental figure. The best types that I have found have been ‘She’s totally into you.’, ‘You should go talk to him, he’d love it.’ and ‘What, you chicken?’
Slowly, very slowly, allow the two main participants to come together. Allow companions to collect with each other. Begin subplot.
Watch as the introduced bad advice begins to send a shockwave around the room. Participant A is usually inclined to lean in at this point, which is a good thing. This simply means that the disaster is beginning to take hold.
Participant B will often run from the room, leaving a bemused participant A looking at their companion who has often become physically linked with participant B’s companion in a romantic manner. This is good, as this only adds to the confusion. You’ll know if you’ve been following the recipe correctly if companion A drops companion B at this point and runs after Participant A. If this doesn’t happen, it is not the end of days. You may find your disaster rather heavy with subplot however.
Allow the humorous chase scene to unfold. Often you’ll find yourself wondering if you should stop it, but this is an absolute no no. Do not disturb the chase! It doesn’t matter how much they break, damage, dramatise, the chase must continue to its logical end.
Finally, once participant A has caught up, allow them to begin to explain. They must start with the bad advice. Have participant B interrupt immediately following said bad advice.
And there we have it. One recipe for disaster. Regional variations exist for this dish, mostly dependent on local customs. Remember to take care in sampling. Once you’ve had one disaster, you’ll definitely want another!
The Idiot in Tin Foil