Day 39: Write a letter to your landlord

To my landlord,

As you may know, I resent the fact that I am in the smaller room. I am also frequently away, which makes it all the more upsetting that you enter my room, you take my bedding, you wash it and then you don’t put it back on the bed!

Surely you should either respect my privacy and enter only with my permission or you should at least return everything to where you found it. My parents always told me that if you use it, you should put it back. If you open it, you close it.

Also, your incessant need to leave the lights on in the kitchen in the morning! When I come downstairs, usually after you have left for work and I walk into the kitchen to find all the lights blaring, illuminating the cup of tea that you have made for me that sits comfortably next to the sandwiches that you have also made for me. Honestly, it’s as if you have no concept of the environment. I’ll bet you’ve never even considered a Prius.

Finally, I must comment on the rent. The amount you ask for is completely unreasonable and I have no doubt that this is something we should discuss at some point in the near future. Surely the amount that I pay would explain the shower that is rather temperamental, the cold nature of the house and the washing that is always done, but not ironed.

Kind regards,

Your Lodger.

P.S. Mum, can I have ham sandwiches tomorrow?

The Idiot in Tin Foil


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