Day 14: An Elaborate and Complicated Lie

Another one about lying, would you believe it! Again, apologies for the delay. Having recently moved home, I am currently without broadband. It’s devastating in the modern era.

‘No, Karla, I can’t come to the party. I told you already, I’m looking after my cousin Reina’s dog? Called Buttercup? Remember?’ I hadn’t told her any of this, but I was currently sitting in my underwear, watching Arrow and reading Game of Thrones. I was also, absolutely nowhere near my completely fictional cousin Reina’s house. ‘Yeah, remember, Buttercup went chasing rats in the field with the combine going and went partially blind?’

‘Oh, of course!’ Karla replied. ‘But why did you have to dogsit again?’

Shit. Shit shit shit. ‘I did tell you this. Reina let her off the lead and she went chasing rats in the field with the combine in it. She went partially blind from the dust?’

‘Okaaaaay, but why did you specifically have to go?’

‘Ohhh… Well, she asked my mum, but mum had to go to hospital to see Aunt Margot.’ Also fictional. ‘So, I had to go instead.’

‘Why wasn’t Reina there?’

Crapcrapcrapcrap… ‘She’s got an interview. In Ohio. To be a cowgirl actually. She’s been riding since she was three and she figured it might be fun and interesting. She’s been waiting to get out of Northampton for years.’ I finished Game of Thrones and picked up Clash of Kings. ‘So, yeah, now I’m stuck here in Northampton for the weekend. So, no party for me.’

‘Well, perhaps I could come visit tomorrow? Especially if you’ve got the house to yourself. Just a suggestion.’

‘Buttercup bites and doesn’t take well to strangers. It would be amazing, but we just can’t. I’m sorry. I’ll see you Sunday night though?’

‘Well, you suck. And I hope that you realise that because of this, I won’t be?’ And with that, she hung up.

Thank God that was over. I just settled down, settling into the book when my phone rang again. ‘Hey, Buzzcut, you coming to the party?’

‘No, I’m dogsitting for my cousin…’

The Idiot in Tin Foil


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