I’d like to start by apologising for the delay in posting. Basically, I’ve run out of internet. Bugger.
“Dear [Person’s Name],
I, Afoaka Okafor, have been asked by my father to reach out to you. We are in desperate need of assistance. As you may know, we have been mining precious stones here in our city for many years, but a great war threatens our production. A coup rises against our government and risks the platform that we have spent many years building.
I have been tasked with raising the funds for us to move a shipment of these precious stones from our country. The rebels are stopping all shipments from our mines, but we have found a way to move the stones to a factory next door where they make t-shirts for USA and UK. Moving the stones in the t-shirt boxes allows us to get them out of the country and raise money to stop the coup.
Unfortunately, the factory is running low on funding. I am writing to you to look for investors to keep this front going. Just one payment of $200 would allow us to keep the factory going for a week. This is nearly $20000 of stones passed through.
Of course, we do not expect this for nothing. We have a solicitor working for us who has been informed that once we receive funding, a portion of profit is to be arranged to be sent to you, as well as a selection of the stones themselves. As you can imagine, our finances are being watched incredibly closely and so all payments must go through a third party. So, there may be some delays in your payment but I assure you it is on the way.
Dear friend, you are our only hope.
‘Father, I have written the email!’ Afoaka said excitedly. ‘Do you really think that we can keep the factory going like this?’
The Idiot in Tin Foil